Mabel's birth story

We arrived to the hospital at 7:00 am for my scheduled induction. The previous week felt like an eternity waiting for our baby girl to arrive, but she decided to be stubborn and come when she was good and ready. The nurse handed me a gown and they immediately started me on fluids and Pitocin. At this point I was only at a 1.5 and figured it was going to be a long day. When the nurse came back an hour later she said I was at a 3. I started feeling the contractions pretty strongly and she mentioned that I could get my epidural whenever I needed it. When I couldn’t stand the pain any longer, I asked for the epidural. I felt relief and was still able to move my legs a bit. The afternoon was pretty relaxed. My best friend Taylor showed up to take pictures and my mom came a few minutes later. We watched TV and talked to kill the time. My nurse came back to check me and I was at a 7! Most first time moms progress slowly, so we were pleasantly surprised. All of the sudden I started feeling my contractions again and they were coming on fast. The anesthesiologist came back and pushed a fast acting drug. Within a half an hour I was as high as a kite. I kept cracking jokes and had bouts of laughing and crying. I remember it vaguely and was conscious, but it was like I couldn’t control what came out of my mouth. I told Kevin that his wedding ring was “out of style” and kept asking the nurses if they thought I was crazy. After about an hour that drug wore off and the nurse came back to check me. I was a 9+ and she said we would be pushing within the hour. Once again the contractions came back full force. This was difficult for me because I wasn’t prepared mentally for a natural birth. They continued to intensify and then it was time to push. The anesthesiologist attempted to administer more of the epidural, but the medication just couldn’t catch up with the pain. I began pushing. I felt as if I were in a different world.. it was a pain I hadn’t experienced before and I didn’t know how much more of it I could take, but I continued to push. I got really nauseated and it took a few pushes before I finally threw up. I had been pushing for about a half hour and was already exshausted. I was literally falling asleep in between contractions and didn’t know if I was going to make it. Luckily I was pushing well and the baby was descending fairly quickly. With Kevin on one side and the nurse on the other, I was fueled by their encouraging words. Just when I didn’t think I could push anymore my nurse would tell me how well I was doing and that the baby was close. I continued to push and push and push, but the baby stopped progressing. The contractions were unbearable and I could feel everything, I didn’t have an ounce of energy in me, and I finally said, “I can’t do this.”  Although I was in a different place mentally and felt like the room was all a blur, I remember my nurse looking me in the eye and saying, “you can do hard things.” I got a burst of adrenaline and began pushing as hard as I possibly could. I knew I had to get this baby out. My nurse finally ran to get the doctor because the baby was stuck. He came in and explained that he would need to give me an episiotomy. The contractions were so intense; that I did everything I physically could to get her out. They placed a mirror below and I could see her head! A couple more pushes and he performed the episiotomy. The minute he did she slipped right out! The feelings that overcame me when I saw Mabel Rose for the first time are indescribable, but I just remember Kev saying, “She’s here! Our baby girl is here.” They placed her on my chest and it was the most magical moment of my life. Tears streamed down both of our faces as we witnessed this tiny miracle that would change our lives forever. Part of me has been frustrated since my labor experience because I pushed unnecessarily, when really the doctor should have been in there for the episiotomy earlier.. but, Mabel made it here healthy and happy and that’s all that really matters.

The past week has been a roller coaster of emotions. I have never felt so much love in my heart, so much pain physically, or so much exhaustion.. but when I hold my sweet girl I remember how it is all worth it. She is the most incredible thing to happen in my life and I cherish this role of motherhood completely. I can’t wait to raise her, teach her about life, and smother her in kisses. I’ve also never felt so much love for Kevin. I honestly wouldn’t have made it through this week without him. He’s so helpful and completely in love with Mabel. It melts me. As of right now I’m just trying to take it one day at a time and learn how I can best care for my baby. I’m so grateful for my Savior, who knows me perfectly and has felt every emotion that I’ve felt.. because heaven knows I wouldn’t be able to do this whole “life” thing without him.