i love you. almost.

They call it seasonal depression. I call it PMS-ing for five months out of the year. Regardless of the correct diagnosis, I'm pretty sure I have it. This year has actually been better for me, in contrast with the last few years when I refused to step outside. Once January and February roll around I just long for summer weather, so the only way I have learned to cope is by looking at pictures of blue skies and sun-kissed cheeks. If you're like me, this may be a solution for you... or might just prolong your misery, so I apologize in advance if it's the latter.

 Two summers ago Kevin was doing an internship in Santa Barbara and I decided to fly out and surprise him. We spent three glorious days together..... and then it happened. He told me about this "secret place" he had to show me, so we walked a good two miles down a deserted beach, and then hiked barefoot up the steepest hill. In all of its romance, with sweaty hair and dirty feet, the final destination was worth it. We sat on the edge of a cliff with our feet dangling below and overlooked the beautiful Pacific Ocean. Just as the sun was setting, the "L bomb" was officially dropped. He turned to me and said so matter of fact, "I think I'm in love with you." 

 I panicked. Knot in stomach, sweaty palms, dry mouth... the whole works. There couldn't have been a more ideal setting and just when I could have topped the night off with a sweet little "I love you too." Good ole Katie who over-analyzes way too much had to say theeee worst thing she could have possibly said. "I think I love you, but I don't know if I'm in love with you yet." WHAT? I know.. I know. I kick myself every day for the inner idiot in me, but in my defense.. I didn't want to say it unless I was absolutely sure. I was also in denial at the time. Don't worry.. he will never let me forget about that perfectly romantic moment when I almost said I love you.